Protection

Do you think this frog feels safe?

I’ve zoomed in as far as I can, and the frog appears to be dry. The rain is all around it, but the flower is protecting the frog from the wet rain.

If you are following my blog, you know that I recently had to say goodbye to my therapist, Amy. 

Honestly, I feel like that frog without the flower. 

So many times I’ve thought ‘Oh, I’m gonna work through this with Amy’ or ‘Amy is gonna be so proud of me, I can’t wait to tell her’ or just simply ‘I need to spend some time with Amy.’

This sucks!

It’s been almost a week and I still well up with tears whenever I broach this subject. I don’t know what to do without my flower.

I know that God should be that flower. I know that I shouldn’t place so much importance on one person. But, damn it, I did. And she really helped me.

But now I am here…

What do I do? Do I begin again with a new therapist? Do I go to Amy’s replacement? What if they suck? What if they hurt me? What if they leave me…again?

This bible verse just jumped in my head. ‘I will never leave you or forsake you…’ so I looked it up.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.””

‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭31:6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I can’t be strong or courageous. I feel week and afraid.

Amy taught me that behind every feeling is a thought. Figure out what the thought is and then collect evidence to decide if it’s true.

Feeling ‘I feel weak and afraid.’

Thought ‘No one will help me like Amy did.’

Evidence: 

Amy is gone.

I have tried to work with five other therapists in my life. Counting Amy, three out of the six were good. Therefore, I have a 50% chance of getting a good therapist.

I believe that God is in this with me. That doesn’t mean this will work out, but it does mean I am not alone.

Conclusion-Amy really helped me. I’m not going to give up if I hate the therapists I try. God is and will be with me. 

This may straighten out my head, but I still hurt without my flower. So, for right now, my favorite blanket will be my flower.

May your day be filled with joy (send some my way 🤔)

Emily ❤️

2 thoughts on “Protection

  1. I can’t imagine the hurt you are going through but you have friends and family who have never and will never leave you. We will always be your flower. From birth to the day you take your last breath, you have a flower. Each of us is a petal and your flower is big and protective and multi colored. We love keeping the rain off you, it’s what we do. Trust me you are a petal of our flower as well. ❤️❤️❤️

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